Abraham on Self Love

Questioner: Now I'm reaching for a feeling. The feeling of all feelings is self-love. And. It's what I want more than anything in the world. And. What I'm finding when I do your processes, it feels to me like every process has at its heart enhancing self-love. Like ...

Abraham interrupts: Think about what you are saying. You're exactly right but think about it in the broader context. Every process that we offer is with the deliberate intention of helping you to release resistance.

Q: Yes.

A: And when you release resistance, your cork floats and you become a vibrational match to who you really are. And when you are a vibrational match to who you really are, who loves beyond description, then, that is the sensation that you have. And so, you are exactly right. The processes are ALL about closing that gap so that you can perceive through a self that loves.

Q: Yes. And all the processes feel like that to me and I've noticed it in an incremental way, with the cork rising slowly. And when I came on this cruise I wanted to sit in this chair and ask you to hit me with the self-love stick so that I could feel total self-love instantly and not incrementally. Not over time but faster and more. And then I've been here all week and I realized that incremental was OK. Incremental is wonderful. And that's been your message about everything we've talked about.

A: Because. Vibration is vibration. You can't set your radio dial on 630 am and hear what is broadcast on 98.7. There is no such thing as a quantum leap. There is no such thing.

Q: But to press that point. I know that the self-love is who I am. I mean, I know when I croak that I'll feel complete self-love and instantly and you said, "heaven's gate swings both ways." And so, I know some manifestations take time and I know others, like feelings can happen in an instant. I've been flooded with incredible self-love in different circumstances and I'm very good in my world ...

A: Before you go further we want to say to you, very simply, that the only hindrance to self-love - we're just going to lay it out here where you can see it - What has caused an eroding of self-love within so many of you is comparing you and what you want with others and what they want and you and what you've got with others and what they've got. That's what causes an eroding of self-love. What causes an inclusion of self-love, an embracing of self-love, a loving of self is a 'not giving a rip what anybody else thinks' and having your eye only on this two vibrational points of relativity, where you, thought by thought, experience by experience, conversation by conversation, memory by memory, experience by experience, just train yourself into something that feels better and better and better and better and better. In other words, it is, if there was ever an inside job, it's got to be that.

Because, when you are taught love by somebody outside of you, like a mother loving you and you really feeling it, what has happened is, they're tuned in, tapped in turned on. They've already, for whatever reason, focused upon you in a way that they are a vibrational match to their inner being. And so, they are love. They are liquid love and as they hold you in their gaze they flood this all over you and you say, "Ooo, this feels so good. I want this always." But then you need their undivided attention. Then you need them to always be tuned in, tapped in turned on. Then you need them to hold you as their object of attention. And they will let you down EVERY time, the selfish buggers. Because they have other things they want to think about and they cannot hold themselves to that standard. And so, when you finally get it that while it feels good to be loved, nothing feels better in all of the Universe than to love.

Q: Yes.

A: And we want to replace the word love with some other words. We want to say that when you are fascinated by something, you are in that vibration of connection with who you are. That's as close to love as it gets. When you are appreciating yourself or someone else, that's as close to it as it gets. Jerry and Esther can be in a restaurant and there can be some sweet waiter or waitress helping them and Esther will offer, not to them but about them to Jerry, some appreciation about them and ripples of connected energy will just soar through her body as she joins us in our appreciation of that person, you see.

Q: Hmm. 
A: So, as you realize that here you are in this body a perceiver and you've got your telescope out there, so to speak, and you're looking out and you're looking at something and whatever you are perceiving through your telescope is generating an emotional response in vibrational relationship. In other words, you would have no feelings at all if there were not this vibrational relationship between where you are and who you really are. And so, as you look out with the intention of finding love, now you're looking for people who are tuned in, tapped in turned on, which is not that easy to find sometimes, especially at work and get them to love you and, or you're looking for it in a boyfriend or in a lover or some place and now you're powerless because you can't control what they are doing with their vibrational relativity.

And so, you look for it and you don't find it and look for it and don't find it, look for it and don't find it and then you tend to call that self-love. "I'm looking for love and I'm not finding it and because I didn't find it then I trained myself not to love me because I don't love me because that one does not love me and I don't love me because that one doesn't love me and I don't love me because that one doesn't love me." And we say, they're not loving you because they are not tuned in. They don't have the capacity to love you, unless they are in alignment with who they are. And so, don't look for the love through their eyes. Look for the connection through your eyes.

And so, let it be love of this rug, and love of these flowers and love of this environment and love of this wonderful air and love of this ship and love of what I'm having for dinner and love of this hair clip and love of this ring and love of this watch and love of these flexible fingers and love of whatever I can feel appreciation of. And as you just begin to tune yourself, first to the things that are easy to appreciate and then to the things that are obvious to appreciate and then as you begin looking for things to appreciate, you begin to tune yourself into a vibrational alignment with who you really are about things that are easier for you to love. Because friend. We don't want it to be this way. It shouldn't be this way. But for most of you, the hardest focal point on this planet for you to love is that one you see reflected back in the mirror.

Q: Well, that's exactly what ...

A: Go home today, or back to your cabin today and sit before a mirror and sit there and look into the depths of your eyes and look with the intention of seeing your inner being looking back at you and say, "I know you're in there and I have an inkling of how you feel about me because Abraham has been talking about it and I'm just going to look for you until I find you. I'm going to stay here until I find that feeling of awareness of me and appreciation of me that I'm looking for." And from where you are, we can feel that you can get there very quickly. Show me then IB that I am love…(see below)

But, the most important thing that we're saying to you is, this self-love that you think you're looking for is not love of self. It's Love that Is Self. And there's a difference. There is a difference between loving me and being me who loves. And it is being me who loves that is really you. And when you are me who loves it's easy to love that one and that one and that one and that one and that one and that one and that one and that one and that one and that one and that one and that one. And then it becomes irrelevant what your object of love is if you're loving.

What difference does it make what is the reason, the focal point, for the love that you are feeling? What possible difference does it make? It would be like eating a really wonderful meal and while you are eating it being unhappy that you can't be eating that one and that one and that one and that one. It doesn't matter. Does it matter what you are eating that feels wonderful is and does it matter what your focal point of your love is as long as the love that you're feeling is the love that really is you, you see. That was good. That was really, really good. Audience applauds.

Q: So I'm hearing you say .. One of the things I love to do is, I'm a writer. And I go out in my world and I see an old couple in the park and I feel incredible love just looking at them. Or a dog on the street. Or somebody's shoes. So I can flow love that way. Are you saying, that when I'm flowing love like that randomly to anything and everything, that that is who I am?

A: Yes. That is who you are. That is who you are. And the more you do it deliberately and acknowledge, "That is who I am." then the more you demand of yourself and demand is too strong a word, but the more you set our intention to find that and the more you look for it everywhere you go. And the more you look for it the more you find it and the more you find it the more you look for it. Until soon you just become it. And then you become this stable being who is never off your balance. Who, if someone looks at you and doesn't find appreciation as they're looking you understand, it hasn't got anything to do with you. It never had anything to do with you. Everything that has everything to do with you are in control of, you see.

Q: Well, then I want to probe a little bit. Why it's ..? I already do that, looking out, which I was defining as external, but you corrected me and I understand, that's not external, it's all part of me. Why is it so hard for me and others to look at our own human self and not feel that same ripple of appreciation?

A: Because you're looking for love focused at you rather than love to be focused through you.

Q: But I want to focus it at myself. I know what you mean about third party. I've been down that rabbit hole. But I'm talking about focusing it on myself.

A: But what we're saying to you. And we want you to love you like we love you. But in the mean time, what difference does it make what the object of your attention is when you're feeling love? And the thing that is apparent and we appreciate you saying it and everyone is saying it to some extent also is that, in your awareness of not loving self you can't find self-love. And so we're just trying to build a bridge for you. In other words, any time somebody hurts your feelings, it is because you're in a different vibration than who you really are. And so this quest for self-love, we think is down the rabbit hole. We wouldn't be looking for self-love. We would be looking for the part of self that does love. In other words rather than saying to someone that we love, "I want you to love me." We would begin training ourselves into a desire that says, "I love loving you. I love the feeling of loving you. And how you feel about me is irrelevant. I love the feeling of loving you."

And then what begins to happen. It's like our friend who got so angry at us, "Abraham I don't think you care if my lover ever comes to me." It is exactly right. We just want you to form a vibration that makes you feel so wonderful that it doesn't matter. But then he cannot not come! In other words when you find that vibration the universe has to match you up with somebody that feels exactly that way, you see. But we don't want you to let what is happening in terms of manifestation be the criteria for how you feel.

And that really is what we are wanting to bring this gathering round to discuss, because so many people say, "OK, Abraham, I'll play your silly games. I'll do your processes. I'll do whatever I can to bring myself to the place of offering the vibration that will get me to the manifestation that I want." And we say, "Have you heard nothing from us? It isn't getting you to the manifestation that we are teaching you all of this. It is getting you to the place of feeling so good that the manifestation doesn't matter." And then you worry and say, "Ohoh. So, I'm not maybe going to get the manifestation?" And we say, "That is not what we're saying at all!"

We are saying, the desire for the manifestation is what gives you the reason to want to connect to the energy that is really you that is the true living of life. And that self-love is evident then. You see. But ... and that's why we don't hit you over the head with an I love me stick because that really is not what you are looking for. You are looking for reasons to love. You're looking for reasons to love. And in this environment there is so much abundance of that.

We are appreciating your willingness to discuss this very personal thing and we think that you've pinpointed something that is stuck in the craw of almost everyone. In other words most seminars hammer away at the feeling of worthiness because unworthiness is at the heart of everything that goes wrong for everyone. But these are just buzz-words that have only the potential of stirring you up and making you uncomfortable and we are wanting you to make ...(? change of audio section) So in that light we would like to say to you that we find you loving of yourself quite often and we find you absolutely lovable. We find you recognizing that you're lovable. And we believe with everything that we are that if it were not for your comparison of yourself to others and ... Oh here it is ... This is really what is at the heart of all of this.

So, all of you stand where you do and you launch rockets of different things that you want and you conclude that others are already living what you want and you're not. And you gather that information by comparing the smiles on their faces and the words that they speak and the things they write in their books and the movies they show you. So you use their success as a club that works against you as you compare them getting what they want and pointing out to you that in some instances you're not getting what you want.

Q: That's right.

A: And what we want you to understand is that you cannot accurately compare what anybody is getting because you have no way off accurately accessing their points of vibrational relativity. And what they appear to be showing you and what they are actually living are two very different things. Don't you know people that have all the money in the world and are still dissatisfied. Don't you know people that are living in what you think is your dream house who are dissatisfied with it. Don't you find it amazing that people that ought to be happy under the conditions that you think you' re reaching for aren't? And doesn't it sort of point out to you that you just can't compare anything that anybody else is living with what you are living?

Q: Yeah.

A: So, we don't want you to feel bad about in every moment not being able to announce to the world that you've achieved absolute self-love. We just want it to be your never ending quest. And we will say to you that you've hit upon something that is so essential and so to the core of who you really are and who you were as you came forth into this body, because that self-love is the driving motivating factor. It is the inspiration. It is the thing. It is the ultimate calling. In other words. Here Source is, over here and loving you with everything that it is and of course it is the quest that you're most wanting to answer. And so therefore of course it would be the thing that you would feel most uncomfortable about, about not achieving moment after moment after moment.

But what Source wants to say to you is that the love that you hold for yourself in any moment is enough. In fact it is the perfect love under the conditions in which you are living. It is enough. It is just right. Where you are on your path is just exactly right. It is exactly where you should be on your path.

Can you imagine Jerry and Esther going across the desert. They are on their way from Phoenix to San Diego and they are out there in the middle of the desert. They are not where they want to be. They are in Yuma, for God's sake. There they are in Yuma, no place to eat in Yuma! Can you imagine them getting so unhappy about not having completed their destination that they get all disoriented and end up going back to Phoenix? Phoenix, Yuma, Phoenix, Yuma, Phoenix, Yuma, Phoenix, Yuma ... and that's sort of what you 're doing. In your assessment of not enough self-love it's the Phoenix, Yuma, Phoenix, Yuma, Phoenix, Yuma, Phoenix, Yuma .. whereas you can acknowledge, "Where I am is just right. And given the circumstances of my life I'm right on track. And I'm reaching for a fuller more encompassing sensation of love. And Source is over there patiently, never for a moment impatient, always loving me. Do you know, here is a good thing to say to yourself, "Even though for whatever reason I don't like myself very much right now. I know that I have not caused Source to deviate in Source's appreciation of me at all."

Q: Sighs

A: "I have not convinced Source not to like me." Sometimes when Esther misbehaves she thinks, "Hmm. Jerry probably does not like me very much right now." And she doesn't really know whether he does or not. And we would say it's irrelevant how he feels. But even if she could misbehave enough to get Jerry to begin to respond in a way that displays to Esther that he is displeased with the way she behaves, Source will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever do that. Source maintains its absolute appreciation of you. And as you know that maybe it will help you to give yourself a little bit more of a break. Maybe it will help you to acknowledge, "I'm in the perfect place relative to everything, even relative to self-love."

Q: I feel like you've just said to me that I had it all along and that I have it right now and that feels like great relief. And I'm content with not being hit with the stick. I feel ..

A: Well, we just hit you with it.

Q I do. I feel hit by it. Thank you. Thank you so much! 
Abraham Caribbean Cruise, 2006